Retro Spectacle
I don’t like to use the word “epic” a lot. I have been caught on occasions to use it, but it’s really an overused polyseme. Epic is supposed to be noting or pertaining to a long poetic composition, usually centered upon a hero, in which a series of great achievements or events is narrated in elevated style. These days, the word means Awesome, kickass, or otherwise positive.
Our brains are interesting things. We can look at something from our past, and we can instantly remember the stuff we were passionate about. We can leave the radio on, and when a song comes on that you haven’t heard in a long time, you can still sing along with the lyrics, like you just heard it yesterday. A television show you watched when you were a kid gets mentioned by a co-worker, and you remember all the quirks and the catchphrases. Someone mentioned a kids movie from your childhood, and you can probably still recite some of the dialogue.
On August 24th, 2006, Pluto was demoted as a planet in the solar system. Since then, the dwarf planet has been plotting and scheming to get revenge on the planet that ruined it’s reputation, Earth. In February 1991, an N.E.S. game called Metal Storm predicted that it takes almost 500 years to execute this revenge. The planning stage is the longest, it seems.
Sadly, the game doesn’t have Vegan police, nor some bass battle. But it does have kick-ass-ery.
Ah, Hallowe’en. A time to get individually sized candies the days after for dirt cheap prices. A day to waste a perfectly good pumpkin for target practice for the local juvenile delinquents instead of an awesome pie. Yes a time to scare ourselves with horror marathons on television that will eventually be Ghostbusters over and over again. A time to dress up in alluring outfits for your significant other or your close friends. Not me, however. I don’t have a girlfriend to wear the sexy nurse outfit, and hell, it doesn’t fit me anymore.